Perfect

            Perfect.  Perfect, perfect, perfect.  You could not have designed this game to be a better microcosm of the Yankees season.  In fact, every game seems to be a microcosm of their system.  Except for that ridiculous aberration on Sunday.

            So let's go over a few themes from this game.  Nothing we haven't seen before.  A.J. Burnett was spectacular.  Fine.  He was awesome and he deserved to win.  Cito Gaston took a gamble leaving him in with 110 pitches through seven, and it paid off in every possible way.  He got a quick inning, he finished the eighth, and he got the win.  Perfect.

            Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi struck out seven times between them.  Seven.  And Abreu had a phenomenal game, so twice when they went down, Bobby Abreu was standing on second base.  Seven times.  Alex was particularly useless.  It seemed like each time he was a dead duck before he ever got up there.  Perfect.

            We got the perfect defensive miscue at the perfect time.  The last I heard, and it's been a while, I'll admit, the Yankees had the fewest errors in the AL.  But yet they always seem to find the perfect time.  Johnny Damon, who was anointed the starting center fielder today (after I've been screaming for it for two months), just flat out drops not one, but two fly balls.  Unbelievable.  Plain, simple, drops.  Not sure I've ever seen someone do that twice in one game before.  And in purely devastating fashion.  Drops the third out with the go-ahead run on the bases in the eighth inning.  Wow.  Perfect.

            We wasted a great pitching performance of our own.  Darrell Rasner, who has gone out and gotten knocked around many times this year, was awesome.  One bad pitch and they hit it out to tie.  Not a hit with a runner in scoring position, mind you.  They were 0-3 in those spots.  They got two runs without getting a hit with a runner in scoring position.  Perfect.

            The futility.  This is what I mean when I keep saying that I find that "batting average with runners in scoring position" stat maddening.  Maddening.  Last Friday and Saturday the Yankees were what, 3-18 with RISP, pr something like that.  But it was so much worse.  First of all, one of the hits on Friday night was Alex Rodriguez hitting an infield single that didn't score a run.  And they hit into something like four double plays in those spots as well.  So 3-18 was really more like 2-23.  And to make matters worse, they go out and torch the overworked and under-talented Kansas City bullpen on Sunday (although they couldn't even touch those guys on Friday and Saturday).  So when you look at their "batting-average-with-runners-in-scoring-position" totals for the weekend, they were actually quite good.  And if you look at their BA W/ RISP numbers over the last five or so games, they also look really good, as all of the numbers are skewed by that one game.  But the real story was that they were 2-3 in those five games, with the only other win coming in a 13 inning affair that should have been an easy seven-or-so run victory in 9 innings.  And the story was that they were stunningly impotent with runners in scoring position.  Perfect.

            A.J. Burnett is a nice pitcher.  Always more talented than his record.  But he's not spectacular.  His numbers don't knock you over by any means.  Why is he so automatic against the Yankees?  I don't get it.  He never misses against them.  Always career performances.  A million strikeouts, manageable pitch counts, guys looking ridiculous swinging at balls all over the place.  He wins every which way.  And on top of everything else, he got a win because Johnny Damon just happened to drop his second ball of the game at the perfect time.  Perfect.

            Seven strikeouts from Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi.  Whoops.  Did I say that one already....  And flailing at balls way out of the strike zone.  Seven.

            A perfect - perfect - play from Lyle Overbay to nail Alex at second base leading off the ninth.  I don't blame him for going.  You have to go.  That was absolutely a fluky double all the way.  Every single thing broke perfectly for Overbay in making that play.  Give him credit.  But does is seem like the fiftieth time this year that somebody made the play of their career to save/win a game against the Yankees?  Maybe it's me.  Perfect.

            Perfect.

            I know, I know.  Tampa keeps winning.  Hey, if they pull this off, I will gladly serve as the foiled Gargamel in their Smurf village...  To the victors go the spoils.

            A couple of quick things on the Olympics.  The Opening Ceremonies are probably my least favorite "sporting" event.  Somebody tell me if this is wrong, but it always seems to me to be about an hour of watching the countries walk in and about three hours of interpretive dance.  Thanks.  I'm good.

            That 4x100 relay might have been one of the most exciting sporting events I have ever seen in my life.  Speaking of perfect, that was pure Hollywood.  And with the French serving as villains with their condescending, snarling, boasts!  Who does that?  And the French!  And then to watch the historically underperforming Jason Lezak come from out of nowhere to turn in the race of his life when it counted most.  And to save the eighth gold for Phelps?  Hollywood, dude.  Wow.       

            Here is my issue with the NBC coverage.  It could very well be me, but why does NBC think I care when the host Chinese win a medal?  They're the hosts.  I get it.  You don't need to cut away from something interesting to show me another Chinese opportunity to win a medal.  Call me a bad guy.  There are a million American Olympians competing in events I don't see.  And with the results long since determined earlier in the day, why did NBC show an hour and a half in the key primetime slot, 8:30- 9:50pm, of diving.  Diving.  The American guy came in sixth.  But the Chinese won gold and bronze!  How exciting!  And everyone had to wait until 11:30 to watch the marquee event, the women's gymnastics.

            So let's get to the gymnastics for a second.  This is why it's difficult to root for the Chinese.  First of all, they are cheating.  And not cheating.  Preposterously, brazenly cheating.  These girls are quite clearly between 12 and 14 years old, and have been busted by multiple sources.  Now I have to say.  Here in the States, the media would never stand for this.  People would be tearing their hometowns and official records apart to try and bust them, American or no American.  There would be a race to break the story.  So where is the outrage in China?  I get it.  You want to win medals.  But wow.  This is insane.  Apparently the only check is a passport, which the Chinese girls all dutifully supplied.  The New York Times dug up Chinese newspapers that reported the girls ages as 12, 13, and 14 in the last few months, which means that this was no oversight (the Chinese news websites that held this information were promptly taken down when the Times reported the inconsistency).  Official stuff.  The Chinese government had to issue these girls bogus passports.  So they falsified some documents and records.  You know.  No biggie.

            And while we're at it, the whole thing smells.  You think I'm a conspiracy theorist in baseball?  When it comes to the judged sports, gymnastics, figure skating, and even boxing, I am Oliver Stone.  I loved when the French judge got busted for trading favors with the Russian judge in the 2002 Winter Olympics to quid pro quo an ice dancing medal for a pair's figure skating medal.  I think that stuff goes on all the time.  And some of this 2008 gymnastics judging smelled rotten, like when the Chinese girl landed a vault on her knees, but somehow won a vaulting bronze medal.

            Do or die time for the Yankees.  Do or die.